My senior year of high school I decided to take a gap year after graduation and really focus on deepening my relationship with God. I applied for the backpackers DTS and began the process of fundraising, planning and getting excited for the journey ahead of me! I did support letters, spoke at church, sent emails, Facebook posts, and after awhile I started losing hope. The money wasn’t coming in. I was confused and my self doubt was growing- I remember thinking “Okay God, you said DTS. Why isn’t this happening?”
The weeks went on and I just kept trying to keep my eyes focused on getting to DTS. I thought maybe I could work enough hours to pay for it and I kept trying to figure it out for myself, not even seeking God or His will. Later that week I received devastating news that my dad had passed away suddenly. It was the week before my High School graduation and immediately I knew I couldn’t possibly leave the country just a couple months later, which was fine because I didn’t have the money to pay for it anyways! I let the campus know and the months went on. The people at YWAM Oxford were incredible. They would message me and let me know they were praying for me and my family throughout the entire season to follow.
I eventually decided to move to a different state and start school in Colorado. I gave up on the idea of DTS. I did my Certified Nurses Assistant program, started a job and absolutely loved it! But around Christmas time I had this urge to return to my home town in Alaska. I really didn’t want to go back to my old life there, but I couldn’t ignore this feeling that I was supposed to go back...at least for Christmas.
So I went to Alaska and spent time with family over the holidays. I quickly realized that God was asking me to stay there. I was upset at God because I didn’t want to be there - I wanted to go back to Colorado and carry on in life. After I was done questioning what He was saying, I made the choice to stay and get a job and see what He had for me there.
A couple weeks later I felt God speaking about DTS again. I couldn’t deny it as much as I wanted to. Despite the fact that I already had my next 5 years planned, I reached out to YWAM Oxford in November and asked about upcoming DTS’s. There was one starting in February but again I didn’t want to go. The weeks went by and I felt a strong conviction that I was being disobedient. I tried to justify why I could go. I made excuses and overall chose to ignore God and what he was saying.
I sought wisdom from my mentor and asked her to pray for me. I told her I really didn’t want to go but that this feeling wouldn’t go away. Here I was two weeks before the DTS started. I laid in bed one night crying and asked God to give me peace about going IF that’s what He was actually calling me to. I had an incredible dream that night and woke up knowing what I was supposed to do.
I put my two weeks in at work, told my family, and started messaging people for support! I said “okay God, I said yes, I quit my job, now I need $8000 and I’m expecting you to show up.” And He did! Money slowly started coming in, random people would come up to me and pass me money, someone said they wanted to buy my plane ticket, and before you know it I had raised every last penny.
DTS was an incredible experience and I’m forever changed. I met God and fell in love with Him. Not only did He know what I needed in that season, but He provided everything to get me there! There are still seasons that I struggle trusting God and what He’s saying, but He is so faithful to gently remind me who He is and how He knows what’s best for my life.
If you take anything from this - God’s timing is always perfect. Trust Him with every fiber of your being. Don’t doubt what He’s saying. He’s not in it to confuse you or lead you astray. He loves you. He knows what’s best for you. And the best one of all, He’ll be with you every step of the way and provide everything you need.
